two days later

from our young man who swallowed a key. i don't know why he swallowed that key. i guess he'll be... fine

i swallowed it

14 y/o male. stated he was throwing the key around and somehow it landed in his mouth and he reflexively swallowed it.

near syncope

"What we've got here is... failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week..." Captain, Road Prison 36, Cool Hand Luke 


"near syncope" was going to be the main title of this comic blog, but i thought it might be too hard to remember.

mystery meat

i am generally very happy with the food served to us in the cafeteria, but every once in a while, if you are not paying attention, they will serve something disguised as something else and that never ends well for me. it's like seeing a chocolate chip cookie and when you take a bite it, turns out to be raisins instead of chocolate chips. i hate that.

the impatient patient

i'm still not sure what she expected us to do. so we did a basic workup and told her to follow up with her primary medical provider.

She likes to watch

It is a safe bet that I NEVER want to be a part of your weird nurse/doctor/patient sex fantasies

i was bored

i'm pretty sure this is why many people come to the emergency department after being in pain or feeling sick for a significant period of time. the same day this conversation happened i had another pt who checked in for painful urination admit he has had this "burning" sensation when he pees for about a year. then he asked if his girlfriend could be in the room when we did the physical exam of his junk.

Objects in Orifices

Pulled this off the roof of the mouth of a 10 month old. The mother thought it might have been a thumbtack embedded in roof of the child's mouth. The back side of this disc was adhesive.

11 hours sober

this was a word for word transcript with a pt i had today. i told him 11 hours sober doesn't count.

real life is seldom as exciting as TV. as many times as i see people jumping out of moving vehicles in movies and tv with good reason, when people jump out of moving cars in real life it's usually for very stupid reasons.